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Soliman, Wendy - The Name of the Game (BookStrand Publishing Romance) Page 4
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She and Lucius understood one another instinctively and blended together so well that they almost became as a single unit. Ashley had been told that her long legs, encased in tight-fitting jodhpurs and top boots, appeared not to move at all as they firmly guided Lucius into the complicated manoeuvres. Lucius’s mastery of the half-pirouette, the only movement he hadn’t properly got the hang of, was improving steadily, and by the end of their session, she was delighted with his progress. He was as ready as he’d ever be and they had a good chance of finishing in the top five. If by some miracle they finished first or second, then they would automatically qualify for the regional finals later in the season. But Ashley, knowing how tough the competition was likely to be, wasn’t holding her breath.
Refusing an invitation from some of the others at the stables to go to the local, Ashley went home instead and spent a long time under a hot shower. She had lit the fire in the sitting room earlier and threw another log on it now, watching distractedly as a flurry of sparks flew up the chimney. Although it was still only October the evenings were chilly and, anyway, she loved the homely smell of burning wood. The eerie shadows the flames cast over the walls of the otherwise unlit room suited her mood perfectly. Freckles clearly agreed with her and stretched out in front of the blaze, his eyes dropping as he sighed and rested his head on his front paws.
Ashley ate a slice of toast in lieu of dinner and opened a bottle of wine. Her breath caught when she observed the label. It was a favourite burgundy that Matt had given her. Suppressing all thoughts of her errant lover, Ashley settled on the sofa and curled her feet comfortably beneath her. She sat in contemplative silence, sipping her wine, her mood reflective, as she waited for Sandy, who had agreed to come up and share the wine once Callie was asleep.
Ashley was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of the doorbell. Surprised that her friend hadn’t let herself in with her own key, she got up to answer it.
Matt filled the opening with his musculature, the smile on his lips both determined and slightly apprehensive. Ashley’s own smile, dredged up for Sandy’s benefit, froze on her lips. Just for a moment, she was unsure what to do. Her treacherous heart leapt at the sight of Matt. Unprepared as she’d been to find him at her door, pleasure must have shown in her eyes. She struggled to amend that situation.
“What are you doing here?”
“Did you really think I’d give up that easily?” He bent to stroke the clambering Freckles, but his eyes didn’t once leave her face.
“I thought you were in Southampton.” Now why had she said that? Why give the impression that it mattered to her where he was, or that she’d given the situation any thought?
“I was. I drove back especially to see you.” The smile he offered her heated the air between them. Ashley, determined not to fall victim to his mesmerizing charm, pretended not to notice. “Happy birthday, darling. Can I come in? I’ve been in meetings all day, so I couldn’t phone. Anyway, I knew that even if I did you probably wouldn’t take the call.”
“You got that dead right.”
“So I came back to see you in person.” He paused, but when she said nothing, he spoke again. “We need to talk.” He looked, and obviously was, exhausted. It heartened Ashley to imagine that he’d slept little better than her, but she wasn’t about to let that knowledge influence her.
“I’m expecting someone.”
“Please, Ashley. We can’t leave things like this. I’ve driven all this way and have to go back again tonight, so I—”
“Back to Evie?” Ashley stiffened her spine, trying to disguise the hurt she felt beneath a veneer of indifference. “Of course you do.”
“Ashley, please, just give me ten minutes.”
Reluctantly, she backed away from the door.
“Thank you.”
He walked into the sitting room, just as he’d done on so many occasions in the past. She saw his surprise at the lack of lighting from any source other than the fire, but he made no comment on it. Seeing the open bottle of wine and two glasses, a momentary shadow passed across his face. His obvious jealousy cheered Ashley.
“Drink?” she asked him sweetly, proffering the bottle. “Although, if you’ve got to drive all the way back to Southampton, you probably shouldn’t indulge.”
“The hell with that.” He took the glass from her hand and settled himself at one end of the settee. She took the armchair opposite, as far away from physical contact with him as possible. She was suddenly grateful for the lack of light. She absolutely didn’t want to look at him or for him to read her expression.
“Happy birthday,” he said again, raising his glass in her direction. “Oh, and I have something for you.” Putting his glass down, he reached into his jacket pocket and produced a small, wrapped package.
“It’s hardly appropriate now,” she told him in a cold tone.
“Ashley, please!” He placed the package on a side table and took up his glass again. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about Eve turning up yesterday.”
“Oh, you don’t need to. I’m sure I can imagine your feelings perfectly well,” she said scathingly. “After all, her visit has effectively put paid to your bit on the side.”
“Is that what you really think? After everything we’ve been to each other, how can you —”
“Grow up, Matt! You’ve had your fun. But now you’ve been caught out and it’s over.”
He shook his head. “There’s an explanation.”
“Really! You can explain how your ‘estranged’ wife is pregnant. Go right ahead. What’s stopping you?” She folded her arms beneath her breasts and glared a challenge at him, willing herself not to cry. “That’s one I’d love to hear.”
“Unfortunately, it’s not straightforward.” He ran a hand through his hair, offering her a beseeching look she pretended not to see. “I can’t tell you yet, much as I’d like to. There are other considerations involved. Vitally important ones. I just need you to trust me. I swear to you that everything I’ve said about my feelings for you, about our future together, are the gospel truth.”
“For God’s sake, what sort of idiot do you take me for?” She stood and paced the room, furious that he seemed to think she’d believe him and fall into his arms. “No, don’t bother to answer that. I think I can work it out without your help.”
He dropped his voice to a persuasive whisper. “If only you knew what I’m going through.”
Ashley lost it then. He’d broken her heart, and she was supposed to feel sorry for him! As fury gripped her, so her voice became icily calm.
“What you’re going through? Sorry, Matt, you must forgive me, but somehow I hadn’t got round to seeing it in that light.” The look she threw him, full of withering contempt, would have quelled a less determined man. “I was ecstatic yesterday when you said we could eat out anywhere we liked, do you realize that?” She didn’t give him a chance to respond. “I really thought you were as fed up as I am with skulking around, never doing anything together.”
“I am. That’s why I—”
“Matt, we both ride, but you haven’t even been with me to see Lucius, just in case you’re recognized. I’ve never been to Lingfield to see your horse, presumably for the same reason. Or perhaps because your mother might ask questions about me that you’d prefer not to answer. Hell if I know which, nor do I much care anymore. I thought it was all because of your sons, to protect their feelings, and that eventually it would all be worked out.” She paused in her pacing to shake her head. “I realize now just how gullible I’ve been.”
He stood as well and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Ashley, don’t!”
She shook his hands away and continued to pace. “At last I thought we were getting somewhere. We’d dine out together and spend the night here. But that wouldn’t have happened, would it?” She shot him a loaded glance. “You would have had to get back to your flat to be with Evie.” She turned her back on him and stared out the window. “Were you planning a double whammy
, Matt, me and her both on the same night? Does something for your male ego, does it, still being virile enough to take on two women, practically at once?”
“Ashley.” He stood directly behind her. She felt his breath peppering her neck and wondered how she’d react if he tried to touch her, furious that she still wanted him to. “Don’t do this to yourself.”
“I don’t need to do anything to myself, Matt,” she said quietly, her tone laced with a combination of bitterness and defeat. “You’ve done a very good job of destroying me all on your own.”
She turned, not caring now if he saw how devastated she was. He looked stricken, but still hadn’t offered her the famous explanation he was trying to convince her existed. An explanation that would, he wanted her to believe, straighten matters out. “It isn’t like that. Trust me, darling.”
“Trust you? Oh yes, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’ve lied to me from beginning to end and I was stupid enough to fall for every word. God, what a fool I’ve been! Sandy warned me how it would be. I should have listened to her. You lied about moving Eve to Reigate, you lied about her never coming up to your flat, you lied about not loving her anymore, but, worst of all, you lied about sleeping with her. When did you plan to tell me about the baby, Matt?” Her anger had been replaced with an overwhelming melancholy. “You know how I feel about children, how desperately I’ve always wanted one of my own. Did you imagine that I’d just pretend it hadn’t happened and carry on as we had been?”
“Ashley, it isn’t how it seems.”
She whirled away from him, furious yet close to tears. “Don’t make matters worse by insulting my intelligence.”
“No, really.”
He ran a hand across his chin. He needed a shave, she noticed, wondering how her brain could notice something so insignificant at such a time. He looked down at her, his gaze compelling, his eyes begging her to believe him. And, just for a moment, she was tempted to forget everything and fall into his arms. So comprehensively did she still love him that the compulsion to do so was almost overwhelming. Seeming to realize it, Matt attempted to pull her against him. It took a superhuman effort on Ashley’s part to wrench herself away.
“Ashley, do you think I’d be here if what I’m telling you isn’t true. Isn’t what we have together worth fighting for?”
He appeared so intensely sincere that the overwhelming urge she’d just experienced to believe him returned with interest. But how could she? He obviously only wanted to calm her down so that she wouldn’t be tempted to leave the company. He still needed her help to coordinate the new head office.
“I think you’d better go,” she said in an indifferent tone. “Go back to your cosy little nest and leave me to pick up the pieces of my life.” When he didn’t move, her temper bubbled up again. “You’ve had the best of both worlds for a while now, but all good things come to an end. You know where the door is. Use it.”
“Ashley!” He grabbed her by the shoulders again, a tormented expression in his eyes. Ignoring her struggles, he forced a drugging kiss upon her lips. “I love you! There is an explanation, and if I could tell you now, then I would.” He shook his head. “But I can’t. You’ll hear it just as soon as I’m in a position to tell you more. I’m working night and day to bring that date forward.”
“You say you love me, Matt,” she countered, pulling away from him. Her lips, where his had covered them, felt as though they were on fire. “But you don’t know the meaning of the word. I loved you with a passion that I didn’t know was possible—”
“Loved?”
“Yes,” she said decisively. “Loved.”
“You can turn your feelings off just like that?”
“I would have done anything for you,” she said, ignoring the question. “But you wife effectively killed that love off yesterday when she showed me what an idiot I’ve been.” Ashley sighed. “Perhaps I should be grateful to her?”
Matt groaned, fixing her with a gaze of naked longing. “You don’t know the half of it, but you will, soon. I promise you, we’ll eventually be together, just as we planned.”
“And the baby? We just pretend it doesn’t exist, I suppose.” She offered him an icy glare. “You don’t know me at all, Matt. If you did, you’d realize that there’re many things I’m capable of forgiving, but treating an innocent child like an insignificant inconvenience definitely isn’t one of them.” She moved into the hall, compelling him to follow her, and opened the door. “Good night,” she said, anticipating that he’d try to touch her and moving out of range before he could.
It was only after he’d left, and she was fighting back the tears, determined not to shed any more on a lost cause, that she noticed the package he’d left for her on the side table. In the midst of their fight, she’d forgotten to return it to him. It was undoubtedly a jewellery box, and Ashley tried not to imagine how she’d have felt, had things been different. In all their time together, Matt’s gifts to her had been impersonal. He favored flowers, perfume, lingerie—the usual safe things that a man, lacking originality, tended to buy for a woman. But this time?
Furious with herself for even thinking about it, she threw it unopened into the nearest drawer and slammed it shut.
Chapter Four
“No, it can’t wait. What part of we need it now don’t you understand? Just sort it!” Ashley slammed her phone down. “Bloody incompetent idiot,” she muttered.
“Problem?” Martin’s head appeared over the partitioning.
“Nothing more than usual. Sorry, was I shouting?”
Martin flashed a brief smile. “Just a bit.” His smiled faded as quickly as it had appeared and was replaced with an expression of concern. “Actually, in case you didn’t realize it, you’ve done a lot of shouting this week. It’s not like you. Are you okay?”
No, she bloody well wasn’t okay. The week had been living hell, and Ashley felt completely wiped out.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Wanna grab a pint at lunchtime and talk about it?”
The one thing Ashley was absolutely certainty about was that she didn’t want to talk about it, especially not to any of her colleagues. Not even Martin.
“Best not,” she said, “thanks all the same.” She indicated her cluttered desk with her hands. “I’ve got a ton of stuff to get through.”
“Sure, no worries.”
He looked a bit wounded by the brush-off, making Ashley feel guilty for being short with him when he was only trying to help. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings—he was a good friend to her—but her emotions were still too raw to risk talking about personal things to anyone right now. Whoever decreed that time was a great healer must live on a different planet. She’d buried herself in her work, but the pain just refused to go away, her mind flashing back to what might have been with every glimpse she caught of Matt.
He continued to flit, almost on a daily basis, between Reigate and Southampton. Mercifully, she saw him only as he dashed through the office or if they happened to be in the same meeting—never on a one-to-one basis. Whenever their paths did cross, he looked increasingly drawn. She knew what stress he was living under and ached to share his burden. In spite of the way he’d lied to her, she’d been blindsided by the love she felt for him, and there didn’t seem to be a damned thing she could do about it.
Negotiations for the amalgamation had picked up pace, and the lion’s share of the responsibility for their successful conclusion fell upon Matt’s broad shoulders. They were keeping him on the hop, and Ashley couldn’t decide if she was more relieved or insulted that he’d given up on her so easily. He treated her with professional courtesy now. Sometimes she caught him looking at her for protracted periods when they were in the same meeting, but she was incapable of interpreting his expression. Common sense told her he was simply dealing with a fraught situation in the only way open to them if they were to continue working together. But still, she couldn’t help regretting that he hadn�
��t made at least one more effort to offer her the mysterious explanation for his conduct that he’d assured her existed.
Ashley made a renewed effort to focus her attention upon Peter Templeton, Matt’s uncle and the company’s accountant. It wasn’t easy because he was the sort of pedantic person who could make the most interesting of subjects sound dull. And accountancy wasn’t a riveting subject at the best of times. He droned on, giving a tedious breakdown of the organisation’s current financial situation and the need for additional economies. He stressed repeatedly how vital it was for the company to approach the amalgamation with Stevenson’s from a position of fiscal strength. Ashley hid a yawn behind her hand, suspecting that everyone else in the conference room was as bored as she was. Her mind wandered yet again, only to be jolted back to the present when she realized that Peter had stopped speaking and everyone was looking at her.
“Ashley,” Peter said, presumably for the second time. “Perhaps you’d outline your plans for cost-cutting in the general office.”
Ever the professional, she launched smoothly into her presentation, not once looking in Matt’s direction. Even so, she was acutely aware of his penetrating gaze fixed on her as she stood in front of a flip chart and started on her spiel.
By Friday, the strain was really starting to tell upon Ashley. It was with a mixture of resignation and dread that she prepared herself for the dinner she was obliged to attend that evening. It was to be the first ever meeting between the directors and senior personnel of both Interactive and Stevenson’s. Not only a chance for a little inter-company bonding, but also a sure-fired opportunity to dig the dirt on one another, as Charlie Templeton, Matt’s brash cousin, had put it.
It was nine days now since that fateful meeting with Matt’s wife and the first occasion since then when Ashley would spend time with him socially, albeit in a crowded private dining room in an up-market hotel. Upward of thirty people would be present, but she would be one of only five ladies there. No one was bringing their other-halves—this was strictly a business occasion. For that, if nothing else, Ashley was grateful. Had there been the slightest possibility of Eve putting in an appearance, she would have cried off. Anything else would, quite simply, have been several steps too far above and beyond the call of duty.