Colonel Fitzwilliam's Dilemma Read online

  “That is undeniable, but ever since he arrived with tales of Asquith’s nefarious wrong-doings, we have hardly seen my aunt except at meal times. She spends all her time in her chamber and doesn’t even find anything to dissatisfy her in the way you manage Pemberley.” Will shook his head. “I am worried she might be unwell, seriously unwell, which would account for her desire to see Anne married.”

  Lizzy sat up and gave Will her complete attention. Lady Catherine could be, and usually was, domineering and overbearing, but she was still Will’s aunt and he was fond of her in his way. “I cannot see anything different about her. She looks as strong and well to me as she did when we met in Kent. She is perhaps a little less forthright than I have grown to expect, but then she is not in her own home and knows you will never permit her to usurp my position here.”

  “Even so, something is not right about her.”

  “If you want my opinion, I think it has to do with Sir Marius.” Lizzy flashed a playful smile. “She knew him years ago. I do not know how close they were, but I do think it accounts for her willingness to employ Mr. Asquith.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “Anne told me. It came out in a conversation between mother and daughter. I also happen to know that Lady Catherine has written to him—I saw her letter on the table in the hall waiting to be posted. Presumably she wants to know the truth about Mr. Collins’s allegations, and I think she is nervous about the prospect of meeting Sir Marius again.”

  “Good God!” Will looked shocked rigid. “Could that be all it is?”

  “Why not? She pretends to have no time for romantic love, but perhaps that is because she was once disappointed.”

  “But all these years later. To still feel—”

  “If we were separated for twenty years, would that change your feelings for me?”

  Will’s eyes glowed like molten lava as he gently covered her lips with his own. “What a question. You know very well I would never allow that situation to occur. If we were parted for any reason I would come after you, throw you over my shoulder and carry you back to Pemberley if necessary.” His lips worked their way down her neck, nipping and kissing until she was in a fervour of need. “Nothing will ever keep me away from you, Lizzy. Never doubt it for a moment.”

  Much as she would enjoy it if Will finished what he had started, now was neither the time nor the place. “Perhaps Lady Catherine felt the same way about Sir Marius,” she said, shuffling so there was a little, a very little, distance between their bodies and Will was obliged to stop nibbling her neck. “It would be lovely if that was the case. Everyone deserves to be happy, even your curmudgeonly aunt.”

  “You have a romantic soul, Mrs. Darcy.”

  “Whose fault is that, Mr. Darcy?”

  “Anyway,” Will continued. “Lady Catherine isn’t likely to see Sir Marius again. All she has done is write to him and for all we know she could have been doing that for years.”

  “But equally, she very well might not have done either. You know how disciplined she is.”

  Will shook his head. “I find it difficult to imagine my aunt suffering from love-sickness.”

  “Whereas I think it the most natural thing in the world.”

  A burst of laughter and chattering voices warned Lizzy her precious time alone with Will was about to come to an end.

  “It sounds as though the morning’s rehearsal is over,” Will said.

  “So it does.” Lizzy sighed. “Poor Jane. Since Lady Catherine has stopped offering her services as chaperone, my sister has to sit in on all the rehearsals. She says she doesn’t mind, but it hardly seems fair.”

  “What isn’t fair?”

  “Oh, Jane, we were talking about you having to supervise the actors, simply because you’re the only one entrusted with the play’s ending.”

  Jane smiled good-naturedly as she took a seat. “I don’t mind in the least. In fact I enjoy being useful. Mr. Asquith is wonderful at getting the girls to perform. Kitty isn’t shy, we all know that, but he has managed to get Georgiana and even Anne to throw themselves fully into their parts. It actually might turn out quite well.”

  “If enthusiasm equates to success,” Will said, “then they are sure to please. I have never seen any of the girls half so taken up with an occupation before.”

  “Not that their enthusiasm could have anything to do with the involvement of a certain major, captain and tutor,” Lizzy remarked playfully.

  “Lizzy, how could you suggest such a thing?” Jane asked, laughing.

  “I cannot begin to imagine where that idea came from. Anyway, Jane, I am glad you feel useful. Personally, I still can’t get used to the fact that we now qualify as chaperones. It only seems like yesterday that we were the ones whose reputations were being guarded.”

  “Very true.” Jane glanced down at her expanding waistline and smiled. “How quickly times change.”

  They were joined by the girls, who threw themselves into chairs, still all talking at the same time about the play.

  “I hear rehearsals progress well,” Lizzy said, smiling at the three animated faces.

  “I think so,” Georgiana replied. “Mr. Asquith doesn’t need to correct us quite so often at any rate.”

  “And I remembered all my lines today,” Kitty added. “Who would have thought it?”

  “Not you, obviously,” Lizzy replied. “Since this time yesterday you despaired of ever knowing them all.”

  “Yes, it does seem extraordinary but I expect I shall forget them all when the time comes to perform for you all and I am beset by nerves.”

  “Nonsense,” Anne said. “You are a natural.”

  Will shook his head, but smiled as he stood up and left the ladies to their chatter, presumably going off in search of male company.

  “Mr. Collins tried to intrude on our rehearsals again,” Kitty said. “He seems to think he can order Mr. Asquith about, but soon discovered he was in the wrong.”

  “Mr. Asquith was very polite, but firm,” Anne added, her eyes glowing with pride. “Mr. Collins soon realised he had met his match and took himself off somewhere or other.”

  “He has been pacing about in the garden for the last hour,” Lizzy said. “I noticed that even the gardeners try to keep their distance from him.”

  “Oh dear,” Jane said. “I do feel rather sorry for him.”

  “Of course you do, Jane, but I do not. No one invited him here. Besides, I should have thought he would be needed back in Hunsford but he shows no inclination to leave.”

  “He is very thick-skinned when it suits him to be,” Anne said.

  “Kitty and I are finishing up the scenery this afternoon,” Georgiana said, “while Anne goes driving with Colonel Fitzwilliam.”

  Anne caught Lizzy’s eye, blushed and said nothing.

  “Come along, girls.” Lizzy stood up. “It is almost time for luncheon. I am sure you are all sharp set after your busy morning.”

  “Yes, I’m starved,” Kitty said.

  Jane and Lizzy ushered the girls ahead of them and made their way to the dining room. Will’s mood had rubbed off on her and Lizzy now felt unsettled. Tomorrow would see the arrival of Mrs. Sheffield’s brother-in-law and her plan to catch him out would be put into action by the colonel. Lizzy was gripped with a sudden desperate desire to call it all off. She had a peculiar feeling that they had overlooked something.

  Something important that could have catastrophic consequences for them all. And if that happened, the blame would be entirely hers.

  ***

  Celia Sheffield was waiting for Joshua in the woods adjoining Briar Hall, a location they used as a meeting place for the third consecutive day. It was a convenient distance for Celia to walk and the chances of their being seen there together were virtually non-existent. Joshua halted the curricle, secured the reins and allowed the horse to crop at the sparse grass. He then jumped down from the box seat and joined Celia, raising his hat by way of greeting. He took her hand, kissed
the back of it and saw no reason to release it again. Instead, he tucked it in the crook of his arm, a perfectly natural place for it to remain.

  “I hope you haven’t been waiting for long,” he said, smiling down at the top of her straw bonnet.

  “I arrived early.” She shrugged. “I was restless. Anxious to see you.”

  “I would be delighted about that if I could bring myself to believe it was my company you desired.”

  She looked up at him and blinked in evident surprise. “Why ever would it not be?”

  “You cannot fool me, Celia. I know just how anxious you must be feeling. Sheffield will arrive in Lambton this afternoon and tomorrow you will have to face him. It would be peculiar if you didn’t want to talk about it to the only person who knows the truth.”

  “You are quite wrong, Colonel.”

  “I thought we had agreed upon Joshua.”

  “Yes, so we had. I’m sorry.” She shook herself. “I probably am more anxious than I realised.”

  “I shall visit Lambton Inn this evening and make Sheffield’s acquaintance.”

  She shuddered. “How nice for you.”

  “I don’t anticipate enjoying the experience but I want to get a measure of the man as soon as possible.”

  “He is sure to be found in the tap room,” Celia said, not for the first time. “He has a strong head for liquor so it won’t be easy to get him intoxicated.”

  She had told him that several times as well. Joshua patted the hand trapped on his arm and sent her a reassuring smile. “Just worry about what you will say to him when he calls on you tomorrow morning.”

  “We have discussed that endlessly.”

  “Even so, oblige me. I need to be sure that in your anxiety you have not forgotten anything.”

  “Very well. I shall pretend not to understand the new will and ask to see it. I feel sure he will have a copy with him. He will assume I am incapable of grasping the particulars and take pleasure in explaining them to me, odious man! I shall act confused, tell him I need time to think but am not at all sure I accept the document as being genuine.”

  “Be careful not to anger him.”

  “Oh, I shall assure him that I don’t blame him for believing it is legally enforceable, at which point he will probably suggest we occupy the estate together.” Celia shuddered, causing Joshua acute concern.

  “Come,” he said, leading her to a fallen tree and seating himself on it. After a moment’s hesitation, he pulled her onto his lap and enfolded her in his arms, waiting for a protest that didn’t materialise. “You are cold?”

  “No.” She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. “I just want tomorrow to be over with. I am being weak and foolish. I know there is nothing he can do to harm me in Briar Hall, or coerce me to return to Buckinghamshire with him, but still…everything about him reminds me of Albert you see, and I would infinitely prefer to forget that period in my life.”

  During his previous meetings with Celia, Joshua had called upon all his military discipline not to overstep the mark. Using her given name and inviting her to use his was as far as he had allowed himself to go. He had sat her on his knee purely to infuse some of his strength into her and to protect her skirts from the splintered tree trunk. Of course he had. But seeing a fat tear trickling down her cheek, noticing just how badly she was trembling, cut through his crumbling resolve. His arms tightened around her and he placed a finger beneath her chin, tilting it upwards until she could no longer hide beneath the brim of her bonnet. She looked so pale, so vulnerable, so scared that his heart melted and the desire to comfort her overrode common sense.

  With a smothered oath, he lowered his head and captured her lips in a slow, incendiary kiss that promised so much more than he could allow himself to give her. It would certainly expose a great deal more of his feelings for her than was strictly necessary, which was not a sensible idea. Far from chastising him for his forwardness, she responded with enthusiasm, which was almost Joshua’s undoing. His tongue tickled the corner of her mouth as his lips played against hers with possessive intent.

  Ye gods, she would be the death of him yet!

  Powerless to help himself when gripped by the fierce, burning desire that had grown stronger with every meeting between them, Joshua deepened the kiss, pulling Celia firmly against him as it turned unashamedly carnal. Their breathing quickly grew ragged and uneven as Joshua’s control slipped. The reward he had been dreaming of claiming since first meeting Mrs. Sheffield was within a hair’s breadth of becoming a reality and yet he could not allow that to happen. Not now, certainly not here in the open air.

  Not ever.

  When Celia groaned around their fused lips and settled herself more firmly against his burgeoning desire, the extent of which she could not fail to notice, it actually brought Joshua to his senses. He broke the kiss and released his hold on her.

  “I am sorry,” he said, not meeting her gaze. “I should not have done that.”

  “I disagree.” It was the last thing he had expected her to say and caused Joshua to look at her aghast. “There is no need to look so shocked,” she said, musical laughter accompanying her words, all signs of her earlier distress eradicated. “I know you only intended to reassure, but I am tired of being reassured and so I pretended to be upset.” She bit her lower lip, presumably to prevent the renewed laughter he could see in her eyes from escaping. “It worked better than I could have anticipated.”

  “You wanted me to kiss you.”

  “I hope you are not this slow when you are in command of your men, Colonel, or the enemy would run rings around you.”

  “I want you very much,” he said softly. “I didn’t think you could possibly doubt it, but I will not take advantage of your reliance upon me, and there’s an end to the matter.”

  “I am not being fair to you, am I?”

  “We need to get through the next few days, deal with Sheffield, and then we will be at leisure to discuss anything you wish.”

  “It is not what I wish that concerns me. I know my own mind.”

  Joshua wanted to ask her what she meant by that comment but refrained for fear that her answer would not be what he wished to hear. Once she had her property restored to her and no longer felt obligated to Joshua, she would feel very differently than she did at that moment. He had nothing to offer her, he reminded himself bleakly, other than his undying love and a colonel’s pay. Marrying for money, which he had always known he would have to do, hadn’t seemed so bad because he had never anticipated actually falling quite so violently in love with the lady he chose. Now that it had happened he was unprepared to fall back on her fortune in order to support them both. In seemed ungentlemanly, especially given that the fortune in question had been amassed through the exploitation of slaves.

  Dear God, what had he got himself into?

  ***

  Anne sat beside Mr. Asquith on a bench in a pretty part of Pemberley Park, a good distance away from the house. She had a poetry book open on her lap but wasn’t reading aloud from it as she had done the two previous days. Instead, she looked up from it and smiled.

  “What do you find so amusing, Anne?” Mr. Asquith asked.

  “Mr. Collins.”

  “Collins?” He elevated his brows. “I thought you disliked the man.”

  “I do, more than you could possibly know. He came here to cause you harm, and took considerable pleasure from doing so, yet calls himself a man of God.”

  “Many worse crimes have been committed over the centuries in the name of God.”

  “I know that, and since we are talking in ecclesiastical terms, Mr. Collins is my personal cross to bear.”

  “And yet he has managed to make you laugh.”

  “I am laughing at him, not with him; there is a difference.”

  “Certainly there is.”

  “I overheard him telling Mama this morning that I ought not to be allowed to drive out with Colonel Fitzwilliam alone and that he would be happy to bear us c
ompany just to ensure the proprieties were observed.” Her smile widened. “Only imagine if he could see the two of us now. He would probably have apoplexy.”

  “And would have a legitimate reason to claim he had been right about my character all along.”

  “But we are not doing anything wrong.”

  “We are alone.”

  “Yes, but quite innocently.” Anne bit her lip to prevent herself from adding the word ‘unfortunately’. She had rather hoped that Mr. Asquith—Pierce as he had invited her to address him in private—would use the opportunity to…well, to do something to show his true feelings for her. Perhaps he had. By behaving in a gentlemanly fashion he had made it clear that he did not return her rather transparent regard.

  “Even so.” Pierce scowled, presumably because he didn’t seem to find Mr. Collins’s clumsy attempts to interfere in her life amusing. “I trust Lady Catherine told him to mind his own business.”

  “Oh but I am his business, or so he thinks.” Anne continued to smile, until Pierce reluctantly did the same thing. “The problem is that no one at Pemberley wants anything to do with him, as he discovered when he tried to intrude on our rehearsals.”

  “He would be best advised to take himself back to Hunsford where he has a legitimate excuse to interfere in his parishioners’ lives.”

  “He will not leave here until he is sure Mama intends to dismiss you.” Anne’s smile widened. “I don’t think Mr. Collins likes you very much, Pierce.”

  “The feeling, I can assure you, is entirely mutual.” He fixed her with a penetrating gaze.

  “You should smile more often, by the way. It suits you.”

  Perversely, his words caused Anne’s smile to fade abruptly. “A few more days and I will have little to smile about. When Mama learns Colonel Fitzwilliam and I have decided not to marry, she will be furious with me. She will say it is all my fault, that I did not make myself agreeable to him.” She felt tears welling but impatiently brushed them aside. “She will most assuredly take you away from me as a punishment, simply because she knows I enjoy your society.”

  “Hush now. Don’t get upset on my account.” He gently brushed an escaped tear from her cheek. “I am a survivor.”