A Reason to Rebel Read online

  “But that is not all. My father also told me he has given up his search for Marianne.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “All that had kept me going these past months was the belief that he would be throwing his resources behind the search for my sister. To think she is out there somewhere, with no one to protect her and no one to turn to for advice, makes me sick with apprehension.”

  “Calm yourself, m’dear, we will work something out.” Alex took her hand and stroked the palm with his long fingers, soothing her as though she was a skittish filly. “Now, if you feel able, please tell me the rest. I believe there is still more.”

  “Indeed there is. My father also told me that when I was out of mourning I was to marry Mr. Cowper in my sister’s stead…”

  “Good God!”

  “I feel God has little part to play in the scheme,” she said with a wistful smile.

  “No wonder you felt compelled to escape. You are what, no more than three months a widow?” Estelle nodded. “And already he is marrying you off again to further his own ends.” Alex ran his hand through his rebellious curls, his eyes narrowing as a succession of unsavoury thoughts tumbled through his brain. “I would give a lot to know what is so special about Cowper that your father is determined to tie one of his daughters to him.”

  “I wondered about that too. He said I had been Mr. Cowper’s first choice but I was already promised to Mr. Travis when the question of him marrying one of us came up.”

  “Travis’s demise came at a convenient time then, just after your sister disappeared and Cowper might have looked elsewhere for a bride.”

  “Yes, I suppose it did. I had not considered the matter in that light before. My father said that if I married Mr. Cowper he would make me his sole heir, thinking that would persuade me.”

  “Then he cannot know you as well as he supposes.” Alex stroked the hand he was still holding in his. “Not if he thinks you will be persuaded by material considerations.”

  “He probably believes that if he can entice me back to Hampshire he will soon be able to talk me round. That is why he is so anxious for my return. It has nothing to do with my happiness and everything to do with his ambition.”

  “And so when he found you gone he would have been greatly vexed.”

  “Yes, and blaming Susanna, no doubt. But she would not hear of me returning home. She told me of your mother’s need for a companion and, well…” She raised her eyes to his face, making no attempt to reclaim her hand from his grasp. “I regret deceiving your mother, Lord Crawley. She has been prodigiously kind to me. But you must understand that I was desperate and did not stop to consider the consequences of my actions any more than I appreciated how agreeable I would find Lady Crawley’s company. I also did not anticipate that my father would find me so quickly and cause you so much trouble.”

  “Think nothing of that.”

  “I should have anticipated that he would gain information from the servants and track me down by that means.”

  “Do not distress yourself. I knew you were no governess the moment I laid eyes upon you but did not object. Indeed, I was grateful when I saw how readily my mother took to you and how your being here so lifted her spirits. Anyway, I asked Susanna to find someone to bear her company so can hardly complain at a little subterfuge.”

  “You are very understanding.”

  “So tell me, where did you hope to escape to?”

  “Why, to find Marianne, of course.”

  “Alone? Do you have sufficient funds and somewhere to stay?”

  “Well no, not exactly, but…”

  “Where do you imagine she might be?”

  Estelle explained about the solicitor’s clerk in Ramsgate. “His reply to my letter did not ring true at all. The more I think about it, the more sure I am that he must know where she is. He informed me that he had not had the pleasure of seeing her but did not ask any questions about my reasons for enquiring. Nor did he ask if there was any way he could be of service in locating her, which would surely be the natural thing to do.”

  “Indeed, and so it seems we must go to Ramsgate without delay.”

  “We?”

  “You cannot possibly travel there alone,” said Alex, his mind alive with the possible consequences of such action.

  “Oh, but I must.”

  “And my mother?”

  “I left her a note explaining my sudden departure,” she said, averting her gaze.

  “This?” He reached across to his desk and held up the letter she had left in her chamber. The seal was broken. She watched in stupefaction as he committed it to the flames.

  “What are you doing? Where did you get that?” When he raised a brow but said nothing she became agitated. “You were watching me?” She placed her hands on her hips and glowered at him. “You saw me leave my chamber and knew I would head for the passageway, which is why you told me about it.”

  “I needed you to trust me.” He chuckled at her stony expression. “It was a good notion to suggest you had received a sudden offer. But to disappear like a thief in the night. That was not kind, Estelle.”

  “It was necessary. My father will find a way to get to me if I remain here.”

  “You do not appear to set much stock by my abilities to protect you.”

  “You should not have to. I am not your responsibility.”

  “But what if I wish you to be?”

  “Why would you wish it?”

  “Because it pleases me to be of service to you. Now,” he said, waving away the further objections he could sense her formulating, “if you can bear to wait until the morrow, we shall arrange for your offer of employment to arrive by more conventional means. I shall then invent business that takes me away immediately, thereby offering you a seat in my carriage for part of your journey.”

  “But you are not desirous of leaving your mother alone.”

  “Ah, but Lady Jacobs has obligingly arranged a house party that commences tomorrow. My mother will attend and will be quite taken up by all the activity there for several days. She will not miss us and we will be at leisure to pursue our enquiries.”

  “Oh, you are too kind, but that will not serve. You are expected at the house party as well. Your mother was only telling me yesterday how much she was depending on it, and it would not do for you to disappoint her as well.”

  Alex offered her a wry smile. “I fear she would be more disappointed if I did attend. Emma Jenkins is a dear friend but she is not the one for me.”

  “So you know of your mother’s aspirations in that respect?”

  “She is not quite as subtle as she imagines.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “No buts, Estelle. I am determined to help you find out what has become of your sister and there is nothing you can say that will dissuade me.”

  Chapter Nine

  Alex went in search of the ladies the following morning and found them occupied with their work in his mother’s sitting room. He had scarce bid them good morning before Phelps entered the room on feet that appeared to glide soundlessly across the floor and stopped before Estelle.

  “An express has just come for you, miss,” he said, offering her a missive balanced on a silver salver.

  “For me?” Estelle’s feigned expression of surprise impressed Alex, especially since he was aware how much she disliked the idea of deceiving his mother. “I cannot imagine who could be writing to me here. No one of my acquaintance knows of my whereabouts.”

  Lady Crawley looked up from her embroidery and frowned. “It must be important if it came by express. I do so hope it does not signify bad news, my dear. It is my experience that unexpected letters often bear distressing tidings.”

  “Let us hope that is not the case in this instance.” Estelle broke the seal. “Oh, there is no cause for concern, Lady Crawley, it is from Mrs. Cleethorpe.”

  “How thoughtful of her. What does she have to say and why, I wonder, did she feel the need to send her letter by express?”

 
“Well now, let us see.” Estelle scanned the closely covered page and adopted a commendably convincing expression of surprise. “Goodness me, I can scarce believe my good fortune!”

  His mother laid her work aside, giving up all attempts to conceal her curiosity. “Is there some difficulty, my dear?”

  “No, indeed not. Quite the opposite, in fact.” Estelle smiled in apparent delight but Alex noticed she could not bring herself to look directly at his mother. “Mrs. Cleethorpe writes to say she knows of a lady in London who is in urgent need of a new governess. Her own has had to leave without giving notice to care for her ailing mother and Mrs. Cleethorpe has kindly recommended me for the post.”

  “Oh.” Lady Crawley’s face fell. “What a wonderful opportunity for you. It is such a shame that you are not well enough to take up the post.”

  “But I am so much better, ma’am. Besides, I cannot let Mrs. Cleethorpe down when she has gone to so much trouble on my behalf.”

  “Well yes, it is true that you look better, but that is only due to the country air here at Crawley Hall. If you were to be subjected to the dirt and pollution of London I am sure it would only set you right back.” His mother nodded decisively. “No, no, it is prodigiously kind of Mrs. Cleethorpe to go out of her way to find you another position but I am persuaded she cannot appreciate quite how unwell you have been. If she did she would not even have suggested it.”

  Estelle smiled and, observing her, Alex conceded that she did indeed look a great deal better. The dullness in her eye had given way to a sparkling vitality, her skin was flushed with a delicate hue, and her defeated demeanour had been replaced with one of resolute determination.

  Alex suspected that having at last found the courage to defy her father was a liberating experience, at least as much responsible for the transformation in her as the country air his mother set so much stock by. She had been used as a bargaining tool and, he suspected, subjected to a barrage of improper propositions during the course of her short marriage. Seeing her emerge from the shadow of her oppressive father’s influence, ready to do whatever was necessary to locate her missing siblings, was all the reward Alex required. Her lips curved upwards in a specious smile of sweet sensuality. She lifted her eyes and held his gaze, colour heightening her complexion. Alex was totally bewitched and forgot all about his mother’s presence, not noticing the marked interest she took in his preoccupation.

  “Alex, what is your opinion? We urgently need your advice.” His mother’s words only penetrated his sensuous thoughts when Estelle collected herself and dropped her eyes to the letter in her lap. “Dear Miss Tilling has received a letter from Mrs. Cleethorpe suggesting an acquaintance who is in need of a governess.”

  “But surely that is good news, Mother?”

  “Well yes, of course, in the normal way it would be. But I do not think Miss Tilling is sufficiently recovered to travel all the way to London for an interview at this juncture.”

  “Oh, but my dear ma’am, indeed I must go. Mrs. Cleethorpe has advised her friend, Mrs. Fanshaw, to expect me there tomorrow.”

  “There, you see,” said Lady Crawley in a satisfied tone. “I told you it was impossible. I emphatically do not understand how poor Miss Tilling could possibly travel to London, by mail coach of all things, in her debilitated condition. No, no, it is impossible. I will not hear of it. You had much better stay quietly here with me, Miss Tilling, until you have recovered your strength. There will be other positions available when you are well enough to consider them.”

  “I do not think so, ma’am. You must remember that I do not have a character, or anyone to recommend me. It will not be so easy for me to procure a respectable position without such credentials and so I cannot afford to waste opportunities such as this one.”

  “If Miss Tilling is of a mind to go I can be of service to her in that respect,” said Alex. “Through great good fortune I have business that calls me to London tomorrow and I would be happy to take her up in my carriage. There, Mother, would that ease your mind?”

  “No, indeed. I mean, yes.” She looked up at them both, her expression greatly troubled. “I do not know what I mean. It is all so sudden that I do not know what to make of it at all. Nor do I understand the need for all this gadding about, for such haste.”

  “But, ma’am, Mrs. Cleethorpe is at pains to explain that Mrs. Fanshaw needs a new governess at once. It is a wonderful opportunity for me and if I do not attend the interview then I am afraid she will engage someone else. My circumstances are such that I cannot afford to take that risk.”

  “Oh yes, well I do see that, I suppose. I daresay you are very concerned about your future.” Estelle inclined her head and averted her gaze but Alex could still detect guilt in her expression. He suspected that only the thought of her sister and the danger she might be facing prevented her from giving up the scheme and agreeing to stay at Crawley Hall. “But, Alex, I am sure you did not mention before that you were for town tomorrow.”

  “Urgent business that cannot wait, I am afraid, Mother.”

  “But you cannot go now. It is Lady Jacobs’s house party tomorrow, which I am so anticipating, and you are expected.”

  “I have just now sent a note to Lady Jacobs with my regrets.”

  “Oh, oh I see. Oh dear, poor Emma.”

  “Emma, ma’am, what is she to do with it all?”

  “Oh well, nothing exactly, but she was so looking forward to seeing us both. I am sure I do not know what she will make of the sudden business that keeps you away. But then, if you were to postpone it, dear Miss Tilling would have no means of getting to town. We could send her in the carriage, I suppose, but I do not care to think of her travelling unescorted.”

  “Then my suggestion must best serve.”

  “Well yes, but Miss Tilling, you must promise to return to us here immediately after you have conducted your business with Mrs. Fanshaw. If you are offered the position, and I am sure I do not see how you could fail to suit, Mrs. Fanshaw must be made to understand that you are convalescing from a grave illness and will not be ready to take up your new duties for at least another month.”

  “But, ma’am—”

  “No buts, my dear, I really must insist. I shall expect Alex to have returned you to me by the time Lady Jacobs’s party comes to an end in five days time.”

  “Very well, Mother.” Alex exchanged a speaking glance with Estelle. Neither of them had expected his mother to be so firm about Estelle’s return to Crawley Hall. But it was obvious she intended to extract a promise from him in that respect and he could hardly demur at such a reasonable request, even though so short a space of time would restrict their ability to conduct their investigations.

  “Now, Alex, you must install Miss Tilling in the town house and ensure that Mrs. Parsons takes prodigious good care of her. Oh dear, should I send a note to make sure she airs the sheets and warms the bed? After all…”

  “Calm yourself, Mother, Mrs. Parsons knows her business better than either of us. As our guest Miss Tilling will naturally receive every courtesy.”

  –—

  Early the following morning Alex assisted Estelle into his luxurious coach and four. His mother looked very small and full of concern as she stood on the front steps and waved them off to town. He experienced a pang of guilt at being the cause of her anxiety. Aware of Estelle regarding him with a quizzical expression, he waited for his two liveried tigers to scramble up behind and gave his coachman the order to drive on.

  “I feel most ungrateful,” Estelle said, “deceiving Lady Crawley in such a monstrous fashion.”

  “And your way would have better served your conscience?” He raised his arm to his mother for a last time before putting up the window.

  “No, of course not, and I would not have you think I do not appreciate your intervention. It is just that I cannot help regretting the necessity to play her false.”

  “Then let us hope that our business might be speedily concluded.”

  “
Indeed, but if we are so fortunate as to recover my sister I do not see how I can return to Crawley Hall. I shall have Marianne’s welfare to consider as well as my own and can hardly foist another deserving cause upon Lady Crawley.”

  “So what do you intend to do?”

  “I cannot say with certainty. In fact I own I have not thought that far ahead. Devising a means of discovering Marianne’s whereabouts and taking her to safety has occupied all my thoughts since learning that my father is no longer looking for her.” She paused, nibbling at the end of her gloved index finger, a contemplative expression filtering across her lovely countenance. “Perhaps we are both destined to become governesses after all. We are amply qualified to fulfil such a role thanks to our tenure at Miss Frobisher’s Academy for Young Ladies.”

  “I daresay.” Alex chuckled at the vision this conjured up. He glanced out of the window as they approached the outskirts of the village. “I say, look out!” He clasped her shoulder and in one fluid movement pulled her head towards his lap.

  “What is it?” The alarm in her voice was apparent even though it was muffled by the close proximity of her lips to his thigh.

  “We are passing through the village, past the inn where you father has put up. I can see him talking to his coachman at the archway to the mews. No, no, keep down, he is looking this way.”

  “Has he recognized you?”

  “He can hardly have failed to do so. But do not be alarmed. He will only have observed me sitting alone inside my carriage.”

  Winthrop broke off his conversation with his man and turned to glare at the passing carriage. His features were cold and full of suspicion. He lifted his head to ask a question of the inn’s ostler. Presumably he wanted to know whose carriage it was bowling past them at such a cracking pace. Alex assumed a bored expression and looked straight through the man.

  “He will suspect something nonetheless.”

  “It will get him nowhere.”

  “No, I suppose it will not.” Estelle sounded far from certain as she twisted her head sideways on his thigh, presumably because she found it uncomfortable speaking to the fabric of his breeches. Alex stifled a groan. He was finding it uncomfortable too, but for a very different reason. “But he will now know that you are not at home and will very likely try to gain access to Crawley Hall and to your mother.”